Kell 's Blog

Time to get gut honest with yourself. What in your life are you tolerating and yes, even perpetuating? Is it a relationship that fails to go anywhere? Your bank account is overdrawn several times per month? Or maybe every single Monday you vow to quit eating crap food on the weekends and blowing your clean eating plan. Whatever the case may be for you, and my hand is up over here because I’ve been there, if you don’t like the results you’re getting, you’re going to need to change your approach! That’s all well and good you may be saying, and I know I’m oversimplifying it a bit here, but it really is that simple. Easy? Nope. But simple? You bet. It involves a process not unlike connect the dots. You begin by looking at the results you are experiencing and work backwards to the beliefs underneath.

Our beliefs or values inform our thoughts about the world. Our thoughts then create an emotion or a feeling. Those emotions lead to the actions we take, and those actions produce a result. So, let’s flesh this out. Let’s say you’re fighting with your spouse/partner (result) because once again, you blew off something important and went out with friends instead (action). You’ve been feeling bored & restless lately (emotion) and all you do is work (the thought that ran through your mind when your friend called). Beneath all of that, and the reason you continually sabotage your relationship could be a deep-seated BELIEF that commitment = entrapment and a loss of your freedom. Get it?

Here’s another:
You’re broke (result) because you shop too much (action). You spend way too much time scrolling through social media, watching other people live and envying (emotion) their flashy car, clothes, vacations, or jewelry. It occurs to you that you could maybe get ahead in your career or be happier in life if you just had a better wardrobe or a nicer car (thought). However, underneath it all, is really the belief that you are unworthy of success and are somehow not “enough” of something to accomplish your dreams and have the life you want. Do you see how this works?
Beliefs ?? Thoughts ?? Emotions ?? Action ?? Results. Good or bad.

A simple strategy to figure out why something isn’t working out the way you want it to, is to take out a sheet of paper & pen and trace the process backwards until you’ve come upon the core beliefs you have. You can do this with every challenge you have going on. Sometimes, all it takes is seeing it laid out for us to really make a change happen!